I have chosen to stay anonymous to safeguard my identity from the ridicule. The previous night, I got hungry and decided to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, included the spice mix and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a short while or two, I realized something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had saturated my kitchen. I opened the door to my microwave and…lo and behold…I had neglected to put in water. There was some smoke coming from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and put in water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then put the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I encountered a globule of blackened noodles which had become some sort of bizarre crystalline substance never before seen. I had a change of heart.