Okay, so this happened in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids. Let me give you some background: My parents typically pack me fruit for a snack, but on this particular day they packed me about half of the leftover Pringles from the previous day, you know, in that cylinder container. I was thrilled because I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came, and I was ready to take MY Pringles and eat them outside, they weren’t in my bag. I began searching the area, looking for my Pringles. I call the teacher, she tries to find them but she can’t either. Then it hits me—What if MOIRA STOLE THEM? Moira was this chubby girl in my class who ALWAYS wore a purple princess dress that looked like a bad Halloween costume (seriously), and she was known for being mean. Being the judgmental 9-10 year old I was, I straight out concluded that she must’ve stolen my damn Pringles. I told my teacher, “Well, too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Playing it cool. So I stomp out of the class and start searching for Moira. I’m talking checking areas, finding witnesses, wasting my time. So after a solid 10 minutes, I find a group of these kids crowded at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I rush over to see what it is. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue-flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I start raging as I smack the Pringles out of the kids’ hands and start ripping people away from the main source. And right in the middle of them all was a smug-looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I glared and snatched the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now even dumbass Moira knows what’s up, she’s a goner. I would’ve at least punched her, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was made to apologize, and I had to accept her stupid apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day, I’m certain she fears my cold, dead hands, ready to tear her lying face off.