So there’s this really hot kid in my creative writing class. And everyone knows I like him. But one day, he walked in looking like a freaking GQ model, and I accidentally out loud whispered, “Shit, his face looks like the best chair,” and the girl who sits in front of me spun around and said, “WTH, that’s freaky and gross,” and she relocated. She shoots me strange glances every time she sees me now.