I have opted to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the ridicule. Yesterday evening, I became hungry and opted to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, included the spice mix and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a short while or two, I understood something was wrong. A awful burning smell had saturated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…behold…I had failed to include water. There was some smoke coming from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the air with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then placed the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a mass of blackened noodles which had become some sort of peculiar crystalline substance never before seen. I had a second thoughts.