I have decided to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the foolishness. Yesterday evening, I felt hungry and chose to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, added the seasoning and veggies, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I noticed something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had filled my kitchen. I opened the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had failed to add water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then placed the bowl back in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I discovered a globule of blackened noodles which had become some sort of peculiar crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a change of heart.